Author: Chian Kee | Date: 31 January 2014 | Please Comment!

 

 

 

As the dad of a 100% breastfed baby, I have a very limited repertoire when it comes to responding to the “hungry” cry.   My current approach is to try and appeal to Winston’s sense of reason.  “Hungry again Winston? I’m not sure if the buffet has been restocked since the last sitting.  Are you sure you wouldn’t prefer to have another nap?  I hear they’re excellent this time of year.”

Results have been mixed.

There are, of course, some circumstances in which breastfeeding is not an option, so we have begun to learn how to use bottles.  Below is a picture of my current favourite, a gift from a friend.  It’s not my favourite because it is necessarily superior in delivering milk into a baby, but I just can’t go past packaging with ridiculous claims and fine print.  It’s an illness.

Closer to Nature

 

 

What I like best about this is that their headline claim is something that no ordinary UK mum would ever know.  Unless there’s a tradition in the UK where mums undertake individual clinical trials of every brand of baby bottle in order to determine which is the “closer to breastfeeding”, you might as well have asked them which bottle is more likely to allow your child to learn multiple languages in later life.  What does it even mean to be “closer to breastfeeding”?  Do they ask the baby how it tastes? Does using this bottle carry a risk of mastitis?

I also like the fact that they surveyed 1085 mums, but the results are only based on 287 of them.  Were the other 798 mums foolish enough to tick the “Strongly disagree” box, only to be silenced forever by an overzealous yet “independent” survey administrator? On that note, what kind of independent survey company asks questions like “Is the ‘closer to nature’ bottle as close to breastfeeding as bottle feeding can be?”  I suspect shenanigans.

At the end of the day, what 9/10 mums agree on is largely irrelevant to our circumstances, because Winston’s mum is a 10/10, and there’s no data available about them.

One Comment in the fine print. Add yours!